I have been trying to deal with a really stressful situation for the last few months and hate the physical effects that it takes on my body and I’m just exhausted. My Fitbit is telling me every day that I’m doing around 15 hours of fat burn because my pulse is racing so much and if I go for a casual stroll with the dog then it leaps to saying I’m doing Cardio! It is crazy and it is exhausting, but how can you stop it…how can you stop being anxious about some things.
I am so jealous of my husband who is so laid back, nothing gets to him and he struggles to understand ‘why I let things get to me’…but is it that I am doing the ‘letting’?? It makes it sound like I have an option…but try as I may to stop things getting to me, they do…and so how can I stop it?
Anyone in their right mind wouldn’t ‘let’ things effect me in the way that they do. Surely headaches, sore jaw from grinding it in the night, chest tightness and a racing heart beat when you are sat still are not something I’ve opted for?
I so wish I was built differently, that things could roll off me like water off a ducks back. I know I can try meditation and yoga, but bending over at the moment makes me dizzy.
Today when I thought my heart was going to beat straight out of my chest I sat and did some spinning at my spinning wheel, which has helped in the past. I even tried selling more of my crafting stash in an attempt to take my mind off things.
I’ll call my GP tomorrow and see what she recommends…but if anyone has any recommendations for handling anxiety better that would be great….please no “just don’t worry about it” or “just don’t take it to heart”…that just isn’t an option in my frazzled brain.
I wish I wish I wish…
There are 2 books that I’ve read in the past and I know they make sense, I know they helped me enormously when I first read them and I know their recommended actions make a difference to my happiness.
The first is ‘A New Earth : Awakening to your life’s purpose’ by Eckhart Tolle. A book that so perfectly describes why my mother and I are estranged. For those who have read the book already, you will understand what happens when two people have pain bodies that set each other off. I gave my mum a copy of the book many years ago and of course that triggered her pain body and so rather than help our relationship made it worse. But because I have read the book I can so clearly see the issues and it helps me be at peace (well as much as someone can be in this situation). If anyone reading this has an unhealthy relationship with a friend or family member then this book may help you understand why. I also like the continuation of the theme from his Power of Now book, about being present and not living in the past or future. Something I remind myself to do.
The second book is ‘The Miracle Morning’ by Hal Elrod. I listened to the audio version a couple of times, and the narrator is a bit cheesy in his delivery but the principle works. His book recommends a morning routine that when I was doing it for a few months really helped me. Now he recommends you do it at some crazy early hour, but I am definitely not an early bird. So I would just do the routine when I got up and it really helped me get going in the morning and set me up for a great day.
So I know these things have been tried and tested by me and they work, for me. So what stops me applying this knowledge and turning it into action? It is time to re-read and put into action these books.
Recommendations of books that have helped you are welcome.
I wanted somewhere I can track my journey to finding my best self and my other blog is where I track my travels and craft making, so it has a very different audience. I enjoy the interaction with the other crafters and the sense of community that brings.
This blog is much more personal. I am not sure whether this will have an audience and that’s okay. I need a place to write my thoughts and hopefully track my progress on the road to finding my best self.
I know that life will always be a rollercoaster with ups and downs and there’s no such thing as the perfect life, but I believe everyone has the potential to live the best life they can and at the moment I am not doing that.
My mental and physical health definitely have a lot of room for improvement and I know the two are linked. So I will work on these together.
I have had a lot of stress in my life recently and have now handed over the matter to a solicitor to deal with on my behalf, and the relief this has brought has lifted the cloud I was under…and what I now see is that for months I have been snack munching junk food, gaining weight, not walking the dog as much, have stopped doing yoga, haven’t been sleeping well, have had a racing heartbeat for months and the last couple of weeks have had a chest infection and sore throat which doesn’t seem to be getting any better. It’s so easy to see me slipping back into depression…but rather than go back on anti-depressants I have prescribed myself a new start and started this new blog.
So let’s see if I can find my best self. I know it’s out there somewhere, so like Winnie-the-Pooh searching for heffalumps or woozles, I set off on my journey.